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"A dread good read." Southwark Weekender


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Ordering One eye grey  

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One Eye Grey does not sell advertising in the traditional sense but does welcome payment for sentences or paragraphs which may or may not contain positive references to the sponsor's product, depending on the mood of our whimsical ethical advertising committee.

Because the stories deal with contemporary London mentions of bars, cafes, restaurants, clothes shops etc seemed unavoidable so it made sense to give a play to those we liked (or those who paid us.)

So you could stump up for a favourable mention of your product in some dialogue by a nice character, shell out for a positive endorsement of rival's merchandise by a bad person or even cough up for a paragraph discussion of virtues of your goods or services etc. Be creative and make us an offer through penny at

At the end of One Eye Grey there will be an acknowledgment of your kind donation with a phrase along the lines of: Sentence three, paragraph two, page seventeen was kindly brought to you by the Japanese Whaling Commission.

one eye grey

So in the last of the Chelsea smilers

Michael and the lovely people at the Blue Posts, Rupert Street not only consented to let us turn their boozer into the centre of a sedan chair-based piracy operation but also covered the costs of pages 14 and 15. 

The whole project was refreshed by the infusion of capitol from the Pembrokeshire Tea Company who are, it is safe to say, South Wales' premier tea growing company and a fine brew to go with your biscuits. They've even got a One Earl Grey range. 

Back in south London Mango' Landin of 40 St Matthew's Road, Brixton, SW2 1NL will serve you an entirely different kind of refreshment and helped us out with a few tricky passages. 

Meanwhile Jo Bags  wrapped up the packaging costs. 

Finally, the illustrations were coached to a better, more relaxed life by Breathe London 



We also do weddings, birthdays, funerals and barmitzvahs

Why not commemorate your special event with a mention in One Eye Grey? What better way to preserve those happy memories than in a piece of cheap pulp fiction?

This is a unique, and carbon neutral, gift opportunity. Forget product placement this is people placement as we at F and M Publications are willing (for a consideration) to write you or a friend or loved one into our stories.


If you want one of our existing characters to refer to your wedding, birthday, works leaving bash then all it costs is £30. Mentions are easily inserted into the text for example a character might arrive and say 'Sorry I'm late but I was at Betty and Joe’s wedding anniversary last night at the Ivory Arch. Class event and no violence at all’. Or if your marriage was a bit of a fiction choose to celebrate your divorce through us. We’ll take recommendations from you about text but may not be able to guarantee an exact reproduction.


You can go further and for £100.00 have yourself introduced as a character in the story including a brief description of yourself and a few lines of dialogue.

Places are limited and we are taking orders for next year's batch! 


For more you can get written off as well as well as written in!

Those of you with larger wallets could make us on an offer  to be the character that disappears. These will be limited to a maximum of one per edition and will consequently be pricier. E-mail us about the possibility of this and an opening bid. orders at